tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254518784736432632024-02-07T19:51:54.516-08:00Open Source JudaismAChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.comBlogger217125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-87710524692570284602013-05-19T21:16:00.003-07:002013-05-19T21:17:17.261-07:00One year later: Acceptance and Parchat Behar-BechukotaiToday marks the one year anniversary of my heart attack. Not sure if that should be celebrated as a birthday or a <i>yartzheit </i>but regardless I'm happy to still be here and in good health, and I am very grateful for all the love and support I have received.<br />
<br />
I've been feeling like I should mark the day with some great poetry or original song, some art driven by the pain and emotion I've been feeling, but for one reason or another I can't sort it out enough now to develop any.<br />
<br />
I'm moving continually closer to acceptance, in the grieving sense. Definitely cycling through depression and anger on a regular basis. Pretty much past denial and bargaining, although I do seem to think that I can ignore my workout routine without any consequence, and most days I can focus on life rather than "life with heart disease."<br />
<br />
But still.<br />
<br />
There are the days, many days, when I want to cry because there's nothing I can eat, nothing I want to eat, no joy to be found in eating or even relief from whatever sadness I may be feeling. Food has become...not quite an enemy. An obstacle, a reminder, a lost pleasure. I've lost most of my vices. Physical activity follows different rules (I get epic bruises after even a short, gentle fencing practice), drinking is difficult because of interactions with all my pills, and the triple-threat combination of work, kid, and marriage pretty much take care of the rest (hard to stay up all night playing video games, even on the weekend, and still meet my responsibilities). Makes it hard on those days when I need something to take me away from myself, for a little while.<br />
<br />
I live in constant fear, when I remember, of my own mortality. Constantly wondering not if, but when I will be forced to abandon my young son, my wife, my friends. It hurts me, not because of the pain I would feel at their loss but because of the pain I will cause them. We're making long-term plans, my wife and I, even more so than usual: buying a house, discussing a second child, saving for vacations...I leave every discussion wondering if I have started something I cannot finish.<br />
<br />
And even though I keep getting positive health reports (except on the weight - that's creeping up a bit again; need to be careful about that) from every doctor I see, I get a massive jolt of terror if I experience any combination of the following symptoms:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Pain in the chest, shoulders, neck, or arms (Hello fencing!)</li>
<li>Shortness of breath</li>
<li>Unexpected tiredness or weakness</li>
<li>Lightheadedness</li>
<li>Stomach cramps (because that was a symptom of a heart attack in a book I read when I was a kid)</li>
</ul>
<div>
Now if that sounds like a list of symptoms one would commonly experience in every day life due to job, carrying a kid, not working out enough, working out too much, eating the wrong foods, not getting enough sleep...well, yeah. Until I get that pocket-sized EKG so I can get a status update on my heart as needed, or I get a lot more acceptance, there's going to be a portion of every day spent checking each symptom against every other to make sure they are a) unrelated, and b) due to known causes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I realize this has been a fairly heavy post so far; that's not really my intent. Life is very good right now and, as I may have mentioned, I'm glad to be a part of it! But as the anniversary has drawn closer I have been increasingly worried whether I could actually make it through a year without a heart attack, so there's a lot of heaviness to exorcise right now.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anyway.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In the absence of art, I found myself wondering what the Torah portion was for this time last year - maybe I could find some inspiration there! Lucky me, it's Parchat Behar-Bechukotai, ie some of the driest-of-the-dry bits at the end of Leviticus. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As I read through it, though, it became increasingly appropriate. Consider that the parsha is about:</div>
<br />
<br />
1. Rules, lots of them. Rules that rabbis from that day to this have debated and studied and considered. I found myself thinking of my friends who converted to Judaism, and how they had to accept all these rules at once. That was my post-CHD experience - doctors handing me lists of rules I had to study and follow. As if my life depended on it. In many ways my experience with studying Jewish law prepared me for this new stage of my life. For example, koshering my kitchen was much harder than learning to buy the low-sodium products.<br />
<br />
2. Jubilee. Granted, the biblical Jubilee is a very specific event, but that type of celebration and renewal is very much needed in my life at this point, so I'll take it.<br />
<br />
3. Endings and Beginnings. This parsha is the end of Leviticus. After reading this we start on Numbers. Likewise, the heart attack marked the end of a chapter in my life, and, by extension, the start of a new one.<br />
<br />
Many of the commentaries on this parsha note that while Moses received the entire Torah at one moment, it took many years to write the whole thing down. I can relate to that too.<br />
<br />
Thank you to all my friends, family, coworkers, medical support, and everyone else who helped keep me healthy and sane and preserved me and enabled me to reach this season. Here's to another great year.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-44407056787005027792013-03-25T08:26:00.003-07:002013-03-25T08:26:31.373-07:00I'm Dreaming of a White Pesach<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">To the tune of <i>I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">With apologies to...well...everyone</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm dreaming of a <a href="http://www.wunderground.com/news/winter-storm-virgil-20130321">white <i>Pesach</i></a>,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just like the one in <a href="http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0201.htm">Exodus</a>.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Where the <i><a href="http://www.seriouseats.com/2013/03/matzo-showdown-manischewitz-vs-yehuda-vs-streits.html">matzah</a></i> crunches,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And <i><a href="http://www.myjewishlearning.com/culture/2/Languages/Other_Jewish_Languages/Yiddish/Yiddish.shtml">kinder</a></i> search bunches</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Of chairs for <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afikoman">afikomen</a></i> crust.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm dreaming of a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manna">white <i>Pesach</i></a>,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Read the <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODC-y8SfaFk">haggadah</a> </i>as you lean.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Greet <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elijah">Elijah</a> with "<i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shalom_aleichem">Shalom ale-cheem</a></i>,"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And <a href="http://www.elal.co.il/elal/english/states/general/">next year in <i>Yerushala-yim</i></a>!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-22038396319493942012012-09-06T18:57:00.001-07:002013-05-19T20:33:28.984-07:00Less Of a ManSince my heart attack I've lost about 15 pounds. That's more impressive than it sounds; my weight had been fluctuating a lot in the months prior, so I had to stabilize before I could lose anything. I weigh less now than I have in about seven years. And I resent the hell out of it.<br />
<br />
Wait; let me back up a bit.<br />
<br />
Last week I had my three-month checkup with the cardiologist. It went well; I'm as close to "perfect health" as I ever will be again. When he told me I was "normal" I got quiet, withdrawn, and very nearly cried.<br />
<br />
Not, I think, the reaction he expected.<br />
<br />
Still not sure what that was about. I mean, I don't <i>want</i> to be sick or have anything horribly wrong with me. Why can't I be happy about being healthy? My wife's analysis, which seems to fit well, is that this is such a fucked up situation (my phrasing) that I need to feel equally fucked up to make sense of it. I think that's pretty accurate. Another piece of it is the disturbing thought that <i>this</i> is now normal. This situation is pretty messed up to be "normal". Plus it means that all the lifestyle changes I've made the past three months now need to be continued. For the rest of my life.<br />
<br />
But back to the weight loss.<br />
<br />
Every time I look in the mirror and see how thin I'm getting, I get upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely unhappy with the results. I've had fun buying some new "skinny" suits and not buying others because I legitimately believe they'll be too big for me in a few months. And it's a lot of fun having my pants fall down every time I cough. But for the first time in my life I'm losing weight <i>not</i> on my own terms.<br />
<br />
I lost a lot of weight a few years back. Since that time I gained about half of it back, but I was ok with that. I felt good, was able to be as physically active as I wanted to be, and liked the way I looked. I was casually trying to lose five pounds, but knew what I would have to do and did not, at that time, want to make those sacrifices.<br />
<br />
And now the choice has been removed from me.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-40333591414074011122012-08-21T21:07:00.000-07:002013-05-19T20:36:52.231-07:00I'm Too Young For This Shit: Me & My Heart Attack<br />
Ok, it's been a while. Things have been a bit busy, what with the moving cross-country, starting a new job, and having a kid. Through it all I'm continuing to deal with an existential quandary about my place in and relationship with organized Judaism, so the blogging about religion has somewhat tapered off.<br />
<br />
Oh; also there was a heart attack.<br />
<br />
As you may have heard around Facebook, I had a minor "major health incident" almost three months ago. You may not have know the details, though, because at first I was hesitant to post them online. Then I was... embarrassed. Not sure why that's my reaction, but it is. I decided it was time to write this post, though, and be a bit more open about the whole thing for one particular reason:<br />
<br />
There are absolutely no resources out there for people who have heart attacks in their 30s. Or at least none I can find online.<br />
<br />
Granted, the over-50 crowd make up the bulk of coronary heart disease (CHD) patients so it makes sense to cater to them, but you would expect with the hyper-niche formation that has become emblematic of the internet that something would be out there. I have my own theories about why it's like this. First, I suspect that, like me, many younger CHD survivors are too embarrassed to talk openly about their experience. Add in the rarity and it becomes nigh-impossible to gather a critical mass. Second, I suspect that, like me, 30-somethings refuse to accept the possibility they are having a heart attack.<br />
<br />
So there's not enough of us who survive the experience in order to bond over it.<br />
<br />
I wouldn't have gone to the hospital myself if it weren't for my loving, wonderful, hyper-protective wife. I had been feeling fine, or at least not noticeably bad, and spent the afternoon gaming with some friends. On the way home I started feeling some pain and assumed it was tension-related. When I got home I told Alex; she said that if I wasn't feeling better in 10 minutes we were going to the hospital - "just in case". Nine and a half minutes later we were in the car.<br />
<br />
Many experts recommend that if you even think you might be having a heart attack or other life threatening emergency you should call an ambulance rather than drive yourself because you'll get seen sooner. I now agree. We walked into the ER, I told them I was having chest pains, and they directed me to a lovely blue plastic chair where I sat for nearly an hour. Then to the exam room. The nurse hooked up some wires, checked my EKG, and promptly ran out of the room.<br />
<br />
That's usually a good sign, right?<br />
<br />
She came back in, strapped me to the gurney, and pushed me into the hallway, alternately yelling at people in her way to either move or help.Then I met the nice doctor who got to tell me I was having a heart attack.<br />
<br />
Oh.<br />
<br />
There followed some crying and some staring quietly into space while they prepped me, inserting and withdrawing various objects and substances as appropriate. I'll spare you for now the details of the operation and my stay in the ICU, although I may tell those stories sometime, to return to my main point:<br />
<br />
It sucks to have a heart attack in your 30s.<br />
<br />
Granted, there is no good time to have a heart attack but having one so young adds a special twist. When I go to physical therapy I'm the youngest person in the room by an order of magnitude. Many of the people I meet there tell me they took or are considering early retirement to reduce their stress load - not so much an option for me. They talk about their children coming back home to help or spending as much time as possible with their grandchildren while they can; meanwhile I'm wondering if I'll be around long enough to see my 7-month old son graduate from high school. Or get married. Or learn to walk. Even if I do, will I be able to play with him? Will I be able to teach him sports ("That's great, doctor, because I couldn't play sports before the operation!"), take him camping, or wrestle with him, or will I be the perpetually weak, tired father on the sidelines his whole life? Having to take more than ten medicines a day or stick to a harsh diet plan <i>for the rest of your life</i> means something very different at 63 than at 33.<br />
<br />
I should add that as of now I'm recovering as well as could be hoped. Physically, there was little damage and few lasting side effects. Pharmacologically, it'll take a while longer to get used to the new pills - and the inevitable experimenting until we find the right cocktail. Emotionally...I'm getting there.<br />
<br />
I hope in writing this that I can reach other people my age who have CHD to let them know they are not alone. We are here, we are survivors. If you you just went through this and need someone to talk to, contact me. Likewise, if you went through this a while ago and have any advice, I'd be glad to hear it. I'm trying to remember that, long run, this will be a good thing. We found the problem early and with minimal damage, giving me time to learn to manage it. When I reach the age where CHD becomes a more common, more serious problem, I'll already be an expert on the medication and lifestyle.<br />
<br />
I know that. It's just hard to internalize.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-67188856507057997432011-10-25T13:34:00.000-07:002011-10-25T13:34:34.430-07:00Yue Yue - Never Again!It is a central and universal teaching in Judaism that <a href="http://upstel.net/~rooster/hasid3.html#HASID3-Q11">Torah can, should, and must be ignored to save a life</a>. Bystanders have a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: navy;">religious, ethical and legal" duty to help those in danger (even if they're non-Jews!). </span> So while </span>I didn't hear about <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/10/yueyue-chinese-toddler-run-over-in-street-and-ignored-dies/">this story</a> when it first broke last week, only learning of it from <a href="http://www.geekinheels.com/2011/10/24/the-death-of-yue-yue-another-perspective.html">Geek in Heels</a> today, I am sure it will surprise no one that I join the ranks of those horrified by this event. Originally I was going to say "shocked and horrified", but the more I thought about it, the less shocked I was. From Jenny's blog post:<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #525253; line-height: 21px;"></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But when discussing the story over dinner last week, my in-laws told me a couple of things that set things in perspective:<ol style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 3em; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="display: list-item; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Due to the underdeveloped legal infrastructure in China, there have been many cases in the past where a good samaritan would step in to a stranger’s aid, only to be blamed and charged with the crime they had never committed.</li>
<li style="display: list-item; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Additionally, local laws dictate that if a person is found guilty of devastatingly injuring another person(s), they are responsible for all of the medical bills and expenses for the rest of the victim’s life. This, coupled with the fact that the majority of the Chinese population — especially in poorer regions like Foshan where Yue Yue lived — would not be able to afford to financially provide medical care, leads people to leave victims for dead rather than help. That is, they would rather go to jail for manslaughter than be in debt (and become a burden and embarrassment to their families) for the rest of their lives.</li>
</ol>
This isn’t to say that I — or even my in-laws — believe what the 18 passerbys did was right. Neither am I justifying their actions (or lack thereof, in this case).<br />But now that I have been informed these cultural factors, I can better <em style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">understand</em> what had happened.</span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">While s</span>ome blame China's <a href="http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/hit-and-run-hoaxer-wanted-to-become-famous-from-chinese-toddler-tragedy/story-e6frf7jx-1226176509442">pursuit of economic growth and educational system</a>, most <a href="http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/10/19/chinese-toddler-yue-yue-brain-dead/">stories</a> confirm Jenny's; Good Samaritans in China help others at their own risk. It even seems some good may come of this; at least one <a href="http://shanghaiist.com/2011/10/22/yueyue-good-samaritan-meme.php">university has pledged legal defense support to Good Samaritans</a> (and started a new meme in the process), and international attention has ignited a new <a href="http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Latest-News-Wires/2011/1021/Chinese-toddler-Yue-Yue-dies-but-morality-debate-lives-on">debate about China's ethical future</a>.<br />
<br />
So horrified? Yes. Hopefully this will catalyze positive change? Yes. But surprised? No; not at all. This is, after all, the Capitalist ideal.<br />
<br />
My high school government teacher used to refer to "capital-C Communism" versus "small-C communism" to differentiate Marx's political theory from the real-world governments of the same name - say what you will about its validity, Marx's theory never killed anyone; that was the government that co-opted it. It is in that spirit I refer to Capitalism; not the economic theory, but the way we see it practiced in America today, where people are financially incented to <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2010/10/08/130436382/they-didn-t-pay-the-fee-firefighters-watch-tennessee-family-s-house-burn">let their neighbor's house burn down</a>. Where we take as given that we're willing to let children starve to death and freeze on the street, and only debate how much we're willing to let it occur.<br />
<br />
Look, what happened to Yue Yue should never be allowed to happen anywhere ever again. Good Samaritan protections should be universal and powerful; no one should hesitate to help those in danger because they fear financial or legal retribution. But let's stop kidding ourselves that this obligation to help others only applies on the individual level, and only to emergencies that happen right in front of us. Starving a child kills them just as surly as hitting them with a car - it just takes longer.<br />
<br />
None of us are obligated to save the world entire; what is expected of us is what we are able to provide and no more. It's the "and no less" part that gets forgotten. Some see this as encouraging individual action, with each of us giving as best we are able (hey; that sounds like small-C communism!). In truth, though, what we as a nation are capable of is so much greater than what we as individuals can do that it is unconscionable to me to settle for anything less.<br />
<br />
This is the origin of my political "liberalism". Not a desire to coddle everyone or contribute to a culture of entitlement, but a deeply held conviction that when the power of the world's mightiest nation is applied problems like hunger, poverty, and sickness cannot stand.<br />
<br />
Do I honestly believe we can feed, clothe, educate, house, and treat every soul in the world? No; not even every in our own country. But I do believe we can save many. And I, for one, want to be sure the next time a child dies that I was not an inactive bystander.<br />
<br />AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-19744308229807345172011-10-13T15:44:00.000-07:002011-10-13T15:44:26.295-07:00'Tis a dark and stormy knightIt started with thunder booming so loud that all our cats - even the non-cowardly ones - ran and hid under the bed. Rain is pounding against my window hard enough I can see the glass vibrate, and at a speed and rhythm most speed metal drummers would envy. It's not yet 7pm and the night is so dark I can't see the house across the street, and even if I could it would seem too far to walk, having to fight the wind the whole way. <br />
<br />
All in all, it's oddly appropriate. Happy Sukkot everybody! Chag sameach!AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-55090803920677289702011-10-03T07:55:00.000-07:002011-10-03T07:55:48.603-07:00Marriage with a sunset clause?This is...<a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/09/29/us-mexico-marriage-idUSTRE78S6TX20110929">actually a very interesting idea</a>. Like the wizard, it is great and terrible. But interesting. Short summary: new law in Mexico City allows couples to sign a marriage contract with an expiration date (minimum of two years), after which time the couple can choose to extend the marriage or simply let it expire.<br />
<br />
My first reaction is amusement, because it seems like an idea got pulled from a speculative fiction short story and turned into an actual policy/social experiment. The stated goal of the policy is to reduce the divorce rate - it will almost certainly be successful at this, even if it does not increase the number of marriages that last to three years or longer - and the contract requires the couple to make many long-term decisions upfront (what to do with any potential kids, etc.), a step which would probably benefit many "traditional" marriages.<br />
<br />
Let me get this out of the way: Yes, I just completed one year of marriage. No, I'm not looking to get out, or wishing I had this kind of deal. Just intrigued by the potential social impact the policy could have, especially if it's successful.<br />
<br />
To oversimplify, there are three ways this could go:<br />
<br />
1. Nothing changes except for the terminology. Marriages still fail at the same rate, with the same amount of fallout, baggage, and legal drama.<br />
<br />
2. The Nightmare Scenario. Mexico City replaces Vegas as the hotspot destination for quickie, ill-advised weddings. People enter marriage lightly (because that's not already happening) without taking seriously the long-range implications. Families are devastated, childrens' lives ruined, and we move further down the slippery slope to legally endorsing bestiality, necrophilia, pedophilia, and all the other scary things "pro-family groups" are going to trot out to demonstrate this is an irreversible step towards the Apocalypse.<br />
<br />
3. The Best-Case Scenario. I can see an argument for this actually making marriages stronger. I think the big problem with many marriages (and long-term commitments in general) is people don't actually understand what they're getting into. They think it's always going to be the fun, sexy, easy relationship it was at the beginning, and freak out when it becomes work, the "spark" is gone, and they realize they're trapped in the relationship for the rest of their lives. Or, you fall in love, marry someone, then see what they're really keeping behind their mask - whether it's an inability to properly clean the bathroom, a tendency to sleep around, or severe psychopathic tendencies - and realize you need to get out quickly. This starter kit approach to marriage allows people to learn what being married really means and who their partner is in a much more forgiving environment. Taking off this pressure might mean that when the problems come, people feel comfortable working together to resolve them instead of freaking out and running away.<br />
<br />
I honestly think in the short-term the first scenario is the most likely, especially since there will likely be so much stigma against a marriage with an expiration date. It will be great or terrible for couples in equal numbers, based on what they bring into the relationship. What I really want to see is what happens if the policy survives long enough for a generation to grow up thinking it's "normal"; then we'll really see something interesting.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-71211652175151843952011-10-01T09:00:00.000-07:002011-10-01T09:00:06.714-07:00Completing the cycle of forgivenessThere comes a moment, in the process of repentance, after you have wronged someone but before they are aware of it. Many times, in this moment, we have already come aware of our transgression and have begun feeling the guilt, pain, and remorse that signifies genuine <i>t'shuva</i>, but we also feel fear: the fear of having to admit our action and endure the other person's anger and pain.<br />
<br />
In this moment the temptation is often to conceal our actions. We already feel remorse, after all. We have acknowledged our wrongdoing, and may genuinely have learned from our actions, changed our ways, and vowed - truthfully! - to never do it again.<br />
<br />
This temptation is, however, the <i>Yetzer Ra </i>- the wicked inclination. To deny the other person knowledge of your transgression is itself transgression. There is a teaching in Jewish law that one can only forgive sins committed against themselves; I cannot forgive you for what you did to my neighbor. Likewise, I cannot forgive myself for what I did to you. <br />
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The pain of telling the other person is the pain of healing coming it. It may not feel like it at the time. As with many medical procedures, it may cause great harm in the process of healing a greater wound. But without it you are not forgiven. At best, you have merely gotten away with it. Covered it up, buried it, and hid the evidence like a criminal escaping the police. To escape justice is not the same as to reclaim innocence.<br />
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L'shana tovah; may you have an easy fast.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-61065549770024409922011-09-28T15:26:00.000-07:002011-09-28T15:26:11.458-07:00Happy New Year, One And All!Maybe it's because I spent a lot of time this week in pursuit of tickets for the Holy Days, but I've been thinking about the upcoming new year in terms of an amusement park ride. It's the cyclical nature of the year, with the same peaks and valleys every time, like a roller coaster or a Disney-esque storybook ride.<br />
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At least, that's how it goes on paper.<br />
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In reality, we all enter and exit at different points. There's no preset boarding area; we don't get time to securely fasten our seat restraints before the train starts moving. In some ways the better comparison is the lazy river; lots of entry points, and it's up to you to jump into the flow of things. Once you get in, though, it's the same path for everyone, every time you go 'round.<br />
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I don't like calling the year "lazy", though. Plus, moving slowly up a big hill before a sudden drop sounds a lot like how most years begin. What is needed is some ride that's halfway between the two. Or maybe one that changes back and forth, because some years the path is smooth and gentle, and others it is rushed and a little bit frightening.<br />
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I hope that your year combines a little bit of each of those - smooth gentleness when you need it, with enough fast drops and big loops to keep things interesting.<br />
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L'shana Tovah, everybody! May your year be sweet as honey, filled from end to end with living and joy.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-28452108934636947462011-09-11T16:13:00.000-07:002011-09-11T16:13:34.111-07:00The Last Ten YearsA few years back my sister introduced me to a musical called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Five_Years">The Last Five Years</a>. It tells the story of a relationship from first date to break-up. What makes it memorable is that the woman's story is told in reverse chronological order while the man's is told chronologically, so we see her broken heart overlying his excitement about meeting her, and his eventual good bye matches up with her anticipation of seeing him "tomorrow". This juxtaposition makes the pain of their break-up especially poignant. (It's possible I've mentioned this musical in an earlier post; like I said, it stuck with me.)<br />
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I had somewhat the same feeling this weekend watching the 9/11 memorial programming, Especially when they showed people's reactions at the time, contrasted with their feelings today. I remember one reporter talking about the "effects of this day staying with us for weeks and months to come", and feeling slightly mournful for his optimism. Another time a clip showed one of the survivors rejoicing to be alive a week after the attack, and I couldn't help but notice she was conspicuously absent from the interviews with her saviors today.<br />
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We didn't know how much worse it would get.<br />
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We didn't know that it would eventually get better.<br />
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Such is always the way, right? As we sit here, nearing the top of the cycle of the Jewish year, we are reminded of both how similar and how different this coming year will be from the last. Some who are with us today will not be; some new people will take their place. Are the 9/11 attacks different? Were our dually misplace optimism and pessimism something unique, or just...bigger?<br />
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It's hard to say. <a href="http://www.edibletorah.com/2011/09/11/disconnected/">Leon writes about seeing the day as an outsider</a>, an ex-pat at the time. I had in many ways a similar experience. Safe in central Illinois, I never worried that I might be next. I forgot my uncle actually worked in the building until after I'd heard he was ok, leaving nothing to fear but what might have been. Other than that, all it was to me was something happening on tv.<br />
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No; that wasn't <i>all </i>it was.<br />
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I remember the day. I had the day free, so I was sleeping in and taking a lazy morning of it. After showering I turned on the radio and heard, "The president will be making a special address momentarily regarding this morning's acts of terrorism."<br />
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My first thought was, "What did that moron do this time?" I jumped straight to a conspiracy theory smokescreen to distract us from what a bad job Bush was doing as president. So I went to the living room and turned on the tv.<br />
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Just in time to see the second plane hit.<br />
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In moments of extremity, I tend to go emotionally cold. I have dispassionately cleaned and bandaged my own lacerated arm while simultaneously reassuring those around me and organizing them into helpful tasks. Useful as survival instincts go, but it also means I tend to ask questions like "How are you feeling?" only when I come to them on my checklist. That includes asking the question of myself. By the time I checked with my own emotional response the dust (literal and figurative) had somewhat cleared. I knew I had seen not only the deaths of thousands of people, but also of a chapter in American history. It was obvious we would be going to war, and quickly; the only question was how soon we'd be able to get out of it.<br />
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Ten years later, we are still asking that question.<br />
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We have been a nation in mourning for the past decade. Every conversation about our country, no matter the topic, eventually is about that day. Watching the coverage this weekend, I think it's possible we as a nation have <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder#Diagnosis">post-traumatic stress disorder</a>; to paraphrase the West Wing, we need to be able to remember that day without reliving it.<br />
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It is my hope that today will mark the end of this decade-long <i>shiva</i>. Remember, always remember, but hopefully now the healing can truly begin.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-7197162457891616832011-09-01T12:33:00.000-07:002011-09-01T12:33:23.345-07:00Siyyum<i>Siyyum </i>represents one of my favorite concepts in Judiasm, one of the things that, I think, really sets us apart and reminds me why I am still Jewish as opposed to, say, another religion more in keeping with some of my other...<a href="http://www.jedichurch.org/">interests</a>.<br />
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According to <a href="http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=844&letter=S">JewishEncyclopedia.com</a>, <i>siyyum </i>is:<br />
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The formal ceremonial act of completing the writing of a scroll of the Law, or the formal conclusion of the study of a division ("<i>massekta</i>") of the Mishnah or Talmud. In the former case the ceremony is called <i>siyyum ha-Sefer</i>; in the latter, <i>siyyum massekta</i>.</span></span></blockquote>
Either way, it's the celebration of the completion of a book. What a marvelous concept, especially for a people that highly value education and language, and claim to be <i>of</i> the book!<br />
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Now obviously not just any book is grounds for celebration; stopping for a party every time I finished a comic book on a Sunday afternoon would get exhausting, and some books I have celebrated completing only because it meant I didn't have to read them anymore (I'm looking at you, <i>Wide Sargasso Sea!</i>). The concept originates in the Talmud and clearly carries the implication that one has been reading sacred books (and really, what else would one want to read?). I believe, however, it is allowable and proper to expand the concept to include any well-loved book or rigorous course of intellectual development. I would not look askance (much) at a friend that had a <i>siyyum</i> upon completing the Harry Potter series, especially, at this point, if the point of the celebration was finally catching up on the past 15 years. Likewise, a friend that had just finished working through a MCAT prep book would be well justified in throwing a <i>siyyum</i>.<br />
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A more interesting question would seem to be, in our increasingly multimedia age, does it have to be a literal book or will any similarly challenging academic pursuit qualify? If one has a <i>siyyum</i> for the Potter books, what about for the Potter movie? For completing a difficult post-graduate course? I am torn on this. On the one hand, the <i>siyyum</i> is celebrating learning, which would suggest the medium is unimportant; on the other - and this might be because I am a sentimentalist - it seems to lose much when divorced from the concept of a book. I therefore have somewhat of a compromise position: I would personally only hold a <i>siyyum</i> for a book, but would not begrudge a friend that wanted to celebrate something else.<br />
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I also see value in embracing the <i>siyyum</i> as a national practice, regardless of religion. The <i>siyyum</i> could make reading cool again. I referred to the Potter books because when they first came out many people were thrilled that they were getting kids to read again. Rather than wait for the next mega-popular book series to come along, the <i>siyyum</i> heightens the concept of reading itself, regardless of <i>what</i> one reads. I can see teachers using this in school; would students be more willing and eager to read the classics if there was a class party waiting at the end?<br />
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The modern book club could be seen as a form of <i>siyyum</i>. In theory, most book clubs select works of some academic or social importance (it's debatable which of these Oprah's <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; white-space: nowrap;"><i>imprimatur </i></span></span>would be). The group then comes back together to celebrate and discuss; that seems to be exactly what the sages were describing.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-81382595519032211552011-08-22T09:34:00.000-07:002011-08-22T09:34:15.725-07:00John Shore responds to a reader<br />
I very much enjoyed<a href="http://johnshore.com/2011/08/09/i-respond-to-a-readers-lecture-to-me-on-hell/"> John's response to this letter</a>; it's a good example of why I like his stuff.<br />
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One line in the writer's letter spoke to me: "Remember, we are the clay; God is the potter. HE made us." Well first of all, the potter makes the pots, not the clay. So if we are the clay, then God just found us lying around on Earth and tried to make us into something prettier. Interesting metaphor for religion, but not, I suspect, what the writer intended.<br />
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Also, I don't have a lot of experience with potting, but the more I learn about every form of art (including fencing, science, and the "practical arts"), the more it's apparent that, at some point, the artist can only achieve what the medium will allow him to achieve. To use an image from my direct experience, every time I pick up a new sword, it tells me how it should be moved and what strategy it wants to use; I can choose to do as the sword wants, or spend my time fighting it instead of my opponent.<br />
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The same is true of cooking; I can use the food as it wants to be used, or fight it and wind up with flavorless mush (also known as the Fast Food technique). Same in music; I can only make the notes that the instrument is willing to make. So if we're going with the "potter and the clay" image, then God can only shape us into who we are meant to be and what we are willing to accept. But the potter is not the one in charge.<br />
AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-38884624542633924092011-08-09T11:49:00.000-07:002011-08-09T11:49:24.929-07:00Old Bachelors in MetropolisThere has been a wave of big name super heroes having long-term pairings break up the past few years. This is going to come back around to Judaism soon, I promise. Couples established and strong enough that they have entered into the mainstream: Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, Cyclops and Phoenix (ok, this one might be less well known), and now Superman and Lois Lane. Moviebob has a good explanation why <a href="http://moviebob.blogspot.com/2011/08/big-picture-super-single.html">he thinks this is a good idea</a>; his argument makes sense, but whether getting married was a good character idea or not, I have a problem with the way these super break-ups are happening. Or rather, not happening.<br />
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Spider-Man's wife made a deal with the Devil to erase their marriage from existence. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man:_Brand_New_Day">Yes, literally</a>. Granted, for a noble cause, but still. Cyclops and Phoenix's relationship ended when Jean Grey (Phoenix) died; Scott (Cyclops) had basically moved on to another woman, but they were still legally married at the time. And Superman and Lois are collateral damage of <a href="http://dcwomenkickingass.tumblr.com/post/7885409111/loisboyfriend">DC's continuity reboot</a>. Their marriage, possibly their entire relationship, just...never happened.<br />
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Stick with me; this will be about religion soon.<br />
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There are probably other examples, because the major publishers are going through a bit of a Silver Age nostalgia right now, and striving to return their beloved characters to the form they grew up reading; usually this means single. But in all these cases what bothers me is not the change in the character so much as the efforts to write the marriage out of existence.<br />
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Character development, in my mind, should always move forward. That doesn't mean a character can never backslide, but that they should only move one way down their path even if that path loops back on itself. What that means here is if you really want the characters to be single again, have them get divorced. It's not like modern readers would have trouble identifying with that.<br />
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It can provide great dramatic tension: imagine two team members' divorce tearing their group apart as sides are taken. Or, if you just want to put it behind and move on, make it an amicable, no-fault divorce. Those do happen, I've been told. Instead, the writers just snapped their fingers and, poof!, no marriage.<br />
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What about Cyclops and Phoenix? Didn't she die? Yes, and granted dying seems to be Jean Grey's <i>other</i> super power, but that's still a way of getting out of the relationship without having to deal with marriage. As Dan Savage ironically says, a successful relationship means you stay together until one person dies. Plus, as I mentioned, Scott had already pair up with someone new; there was barely any mourning period, they just moved straight on with him and the new, edgier girlfriend instead of the stable, boring wife.<br />
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This got me wondering about the writers; what's going on with these people that they seem to hate marriage so much? Then I realized; most of the (primarily male) writers are right about the age that many marriages are breaking up. Superheroes have always been about escapist fantasy fulfillment, maybe that's what this is; acting out of their desire to "reboot" their own lives as young, single people, not stuck in bitter marriages or going through messy divorces.<br />
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Say what you will about these character decisions, but the writers are the ones making the choices. Everyone gets their own interpretation of the character, but the writer's is the one that becomes official.<br />
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This is where it becomes about religion.<br />
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One of the problems with retaining so much dogmatic history is we keep the laws independent of the context in which they were created. Many bizarre-seeming religious practices have very reasonable explanations in the period in which they originated. For example, there is a burial tradition of placing an egg inside the burial shroud. In the Middle Ages, it was illegal for Jews to bury non-Jews in their graveyards; if strangers showed up with an already prepared corpse, you needed an easy, subtle way to check its legitimacy. Pressing on the corpse's chest and feeling the egg crack provided such a test. Very clever, but does it still make sense now?<br />
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One of my former rabbis used to joke that Ashkenazic laws were harsher because they were written by rabbis that had nothing to do all winter but sit around, be miserable, and make new laws. Funny, but it really resonates; it would explain so well the drab, joyless approach to religion that tradition can take.<br />
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Still, it may have made sense at the time. But that begs the question: how much do laws that made sense to people living a certain lifestyle still apply to us today?AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-71281916317886878762011-08-08T07:34:00.000-07:002011-08-08T12:06:00.295-07:00Harry Potter and the Chosen PeopleMuch ink has been spilt over possible Jewish connections and stereotypes in the Potter-verse (personally I saw neither when I read, but I was mainly reading for the characters and narrative). One aspect I have not seen, though, is Rowling's perspective on what it means that Harry is "chosen".<br />
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There is debate about whether Jews should continue referring to ourselves as "the chosen people", both within and without the Jewish community. Some feel there is an implication of racism or superiority in the name, as we were chosen because we are somehow better or have special privileges because of that choice. Others see the name as a historical artifact, like calling Japan the "land of the rising sun", that has little meaning today. But what would Harry say?<br />
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One of the reoccurring themes of the later books and movies (spoiler alert!) is that Harry only became the "chosen one" when Voldemort chose him. Harry's classmate Neville is presented as another candidate that fills the prophesy as well as Harry (and to many would have made a better savior as well), but because Voldemort pursued the Potter family, Harry became chosen. It was the act of attacking, in fact, that created the situation that gave the "chosen one" his "powers".<br />
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This is supported by the arc of the books. Harry is never the smartest or strongest or best student. He barely has any defining heroic characteristics at all, except maybe for courage and leadership. And even those arguably are a result of his choosing, not something innate, and anyone that survived (by luck and support of his mentor) the same type of early adventures he did would develop those traits.<br />
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So what does that say about the Jews? This week's <a href="http://www.edibletorah.com/2011/08/07/shabbat-vaetchanan-deut-323-711/">Edible Torah</a> includes a discussion question about a verse that reminds us we were not the largest nation, but the smallest. The implication, reinforced by other midrash, is that we were the nation willing to accept what God offered and required. One could even argue that we needed the protection, so signing up seemed like a good deal. If there were any traits the Jews possessed they were faith and loyalty, and who's to say any nation that had received so much from God would not have developed the same traits to the same degree?<br />
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We became chosen because God chose us. Nothing more, nothing less. AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-10406186529810613272011-07-26T11:07:00.000-07:002011-07-26T11:07:31.837-07:00Security: A modest proposalWhy is the federal government responsible for airplane safety? Seriously; why is it a federal concern? Why does each airline, from small regional to transcontinental, have the same standards and practices?<br />
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Here's my thought: make safety the airlines' concern.<br />
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Sure, maybe there can be some slight minimum standards that apply to all, but in general let the air lines get their own equipment and make their own policy.<br />
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I think this would actually make a better experience for the customer, by balancing security procedures against market forces. If one airline let their standards dip too far, and their safety rating started to fall, they would have incentive to ratchet security back up. Of course, if they relax security protocols and, as I suspect would be the case, <i>nothing happens</i>, then travelers would have a less annoying, less invasive option. One airline could still be the "strip search and MRI for everyone!" airline, so those looking for a more "secure" experience would be satisfied.<br />
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It would give airlines something to compete on besides just price and who has the best peanut-alternative in-flight snack.<br />
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It would also provide benefits by allowing individual airlines to act as a lab, of sorts, to test new policies. I'm sure there are measures the federal government has not attempted because they are too expensive/impractical to roll out country wide. Smaller and more adaptable, individual airlines could innovate new security measures. The ones that work become part of the "minimum standards".AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-60291304638701934022011-07-25T12:08:00.000-07:002011-07-25T12:08:08.816-07:00Speaking outLast Friday <a href="http://www.ginandtacos.com/2011/07/22/npf-public-spaces/">ginandtacos asked</a>, at what point should you speak up when you see a stranger is in trouble? <blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Being a generally nosy and outspoken person, it's rare that I see her without wondering If I Should Say Something. Of course I never do. The excuses for avoiding it are so numerous. It's none of my business. She wouldn't care what a stranger says anyway.... Her friends and family are probably already intervening. I'm being paternalistic and sexist. And so on.</span></span></blockquote>
Like Ed, I am a generally nosy and outspoken person, so this is an issue I struggle with as well. Even in smaller, less life-threatening ways, like when I see people committing a faux pas because, apparently, they're new to the area and don't know the culture. Does my attempt to help them fit in override the rudeness of pointing out their mistake? What about confronting people who are themselves being rude? Like asking the guy sitting on the metro to give up his seat to an obviously pregnant woman; am I the hero for helping out - and helping this guy be polite, which he probably wanted to do - or a jerk for embarrassing him?<br />
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But those are trivialities. The more frightening examples are the ones Ed points to. Do I speak out when a friend seems to have a problem? What about a co-worker? A complete stranger? Especially if I'm acting only on my amateur analysis of the situation.<br />
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Sometimes, I've learned, people don't want - or aren't ready - to be helped. With my friends I've learned to be present and supportive without trying to change them. It's not easy. In the past I have had to essentially cut some of my friends out of my life - temporarily - because they were not ready to change and I could no longer be part of their self-destruction. At some point it's what they need from me in order to get better; at some point it's what I have to do to keep myself from going down with them.<br />
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But again, strangers are harder. Ironically, this is a place where "nice people" have more trouble precisely because they are nice. They - we, I hope - care about the other person's feelings, even if the other is acting a manner not deserving such compassion. Our desire to help runs into our desire to avoid embarrassing or upsetting them. I think that's why characters like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_(TV_series)">House</a> have so much appeal; here's someone that won't let hurting patients' feelings get in the way of helping them. We envy that...freedom. That ability to speak, to act, without reservation when we know it is right, regardless of the harm it may cause, secure in the belief the greater good will be served.<br />
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Because without it, all to often, we just watch. In silence.<br />
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There is a prayer in Judaism which asks God to open our mouths that we may pray properly. Several, actually. I have come to love this prayer. It addresses directly the issue Ed and I face. It asks God - whatever that means to you - to help us find our voice.<br />
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To give us the strength to speak.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-50188141782937912822011-07-17T20:00:00.000-07:002011-07-17T20:00:45.730-07:00With all my heartA couple weeks ago I got very excited by the idea that the name for our historical priests ("Levi") was very similar to "Lah-vi", which means "my heart". Further research dispelled this notion; there are two letters that make the "v" sound, and the similarity of the two is merely coincidental, not indicative of a linguistic link. Still, the idea intrigued me enough that I wanted to spend some time playing with it.<br />
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Following the link in one direction, the priests become the heart of the community. The vital organ that keeps blood and life flowing through our communal body. While the modern rabbi is very different in many ways from historical priests, this part remains the same. More than leading prayers, more than teaching the youth, the rabbi's job is to keep the vital energy flowing through the congregation, spreading prayer, education, and administration where they are needed like nutrients through the bloodstream.<br />
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Moving in the other direction, I love the image that each of us has our own personal priest residing in our chest. We do not need external clergy to regulate our connection with the divine; we can create prayers, interpret the law, and talk or listen to god all on our own. This is the voice inside us that reminds us what is right and what is wrong. Beyond the written Torah and the oral Torah we have this inner Torah; we study the others just to remind ourselves of what our hearts already know.<br />
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It's probably because of my love of puns, but I am less willing to believe in pure coincidence than most scholars when it comes to words sounding alike. Granted, every language has words they assimilated from other cultures, which greatly heightens the evidence for "coincidence", but one of these terms is a name. That means at some point someone said, "I like the way this word sounds! I want to be called that for the rest of my life." Someone else, knowing the meaning of the name, chose it for their child. Interestingly, the name "Levi" is translated as "joining"; some sources attribute this to Leah's desire for Jacob to join with her. Even if it is a coincidence, there is a very pleasing resonance between "joining" and "my heart".AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-62359548147716186622011-07-06T15:14:00.000-07:002011-07-06T15:14:30.805-07:00He no go to Meatland!<a href="http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2296#comic">This pretty well sums up organized religion</a>. Follow my set of arbitrary rules for a theoretical reward that may or may not exist, and anyone that questions it gets kicked out.<br />
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Sometime it's necessary to kick out the questioner, as they seek not knowledge and understanding but chaos and disruption of the community. Usually, though, kicking out the questioner is the issue single most responsible for everything that goes wrong with religion.<br />
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Ask questions; there will still be meat.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-4951368637406780322011-07-01T13:22:00.000-07:002011-07-01T13:22:34.294-07:00Jewish kids are volunteering, just not for Judaism<a href="http://www.jewishideasdaily.com/content/module/2011/7/1/main-feature/1/where-have-all-the-volunteers-gone/t">And is anyone surprised?</a><br />
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From the article:<br />
<blockquote>Of those polled, a whopping 80 percent [of Jewish youth] reported having volunteered during the previous twelve months. This puts Jewish youth far ahead of the general American population, among whom, in the past year, even the most educated showed only a 42-percent rate of volunteerism.<br />
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But in one critical area, Jews are not only failing to hold their own but are markedly underperforming. When it comes to volunteering for religious groups, a venue that commands the primary attention of about one-third of Americans in general, the comparable figure for young Jews is only 22 percent. The remaining 78 percent report indifference to the distinction between Jewish and non-Jewish venues, with 18 percent of these actually expressing a preference for the latter.</blockquote>Interestingly, the surveyed students were primarily <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC0QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.birthrightisrael.com%2F&rct=j&q=taglit%20birthright&ei=dSgOTtWML4i00AG0vpGyDg&usg=AFQjCNHhSojlJPy6Z_l3qcotf6eflTTuaw&sig2=EIFv-a7bWZfy7iXICm-0zA&cad=rja">Birthright</a> participants. Which means that, in theory, they should be the most involved Jewish youth, or at least so fresh off this "life-changing experience" that they're looking for ways to help out. It makes the lack of religious volunteering even more notable.<br />
<br />
Thinking back to my own experiences with Birthright, I'm not very surprised to hear they got these results from polling the participants. While I did have very intense personal and spiritual moments on the tour, one of the major take-home themes was that Israel is as modern a nation as the US. Tel Aviv might as well have been next to Miami instead of Jaffa, and the locals we met were "Jewish" in the same way most Americans are "Christian". I wonder if this message is backfiring by showing youth they don't need to do Jewish things to be Jewish.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, generational research suggests the current crop of high school & college students are very resume minded. They are genuine in their desire to help others, but are very aware that it also looks good on college applications and the like. Given that, is there a concern that "limiting" themselves to Jewish organizations pigeonholes them too much? Are teens volunteering at Jewish agencies also applying to Jewish schools, and working in the Jewish community? Is it too defining, too limiting of the public perception of your personal identity?<br />
<br />
A question arises: how is the study defining "religious groups"? Is it enough that a food pantry is funded primarily by Jewish charities, or are we looking specifically at teens helping out around the temple, joining youth group, etc? I assume they mean the former, which makes it a direct apples-to-apples comparison where the primary variable is Jewish affiliation. So we're teaching our kids to help others, and they're helping causes that relate to Jewish values, but they're not identifying as "Jewish" in the process.<br />
<br />
And why should they? What are we offering them that enriches the experience? In a way I see this as the over-success of integrating "Jewish" and "American" identities; if the two are combined, why should I self-segregate by volunteering at specifically Jewish agencies? Modern Judaism is at a crossroads, and right now has stopped to consult the map, look both ways, and ask for directions. Meanwhile teens see a religion that's moving away from a stuffy, melancholy past, but not yet moving towards anything new and meaningful.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-71508868726235199352011-06-28T08:45:00.000-07:002011-06-28T08:45:11.893-07:00Dead Jews found down a well<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13855238">BBC reports</a> that 17 bodies found at the bottom of a medieval well are likely Jewish victims of persecution. </span><br />
<br />
<blockquote style="color: #505050; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The most likely explanation is that those down the well were Jewish and were probably murdered or forced to commit suicide, according to scientists who used a combination of DNA analysis, carbon dating and bone chemical studies in their investigation.</span></blockquote><blockquote style="color: #505050; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The skeletons date back to the 12th or 13th Centuries at a time when Jewish people were facing persecution throughout Europe.</span></blockquote><div style="color: #505050; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The article describes the source of anti-Jewish sentiment well:</span></div><br />
<blockquote style="color: #505050; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Jewish people had been invited to England by the King to lend money because at the time, the Christian interpretation of the bible did not allow Christians to lend money and charge interest. It was regarded as a sin.</span></blockquote><blockquote style="color: #505050; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So cash finance for big projects came from the Jewish community and some became very wealthy - which in turn, caused friction.</span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #505050; font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">Interesting article, especially for someone with interest in both Jewish and medieval history, but I am amused that their evidence for these being Jewish corpses seems to be, "Of course they're Jewish! I mean, who else would you stuff down a well?"</span></span>AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-50072957327659868512011-06-08T20:26:00.000-07:002011-06-08T20:26:31.013-07:00To my sonI heard your heart beat yesterday.<br />
<br />
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.<br />
<br />
I want to record it and make it my ringtone,<br />
or lay out speed bumps on our street so when I drive at the right speed<br />
it makes the same rhythm.<br />
<br />
Convert it to a data stream and send it into space,<br />
or bounce it from end to end across the internet,<br />
an infinite loop of data. Noise. Life.<br />
<br />
I already love you, and I don't even know your name.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-68466243447170220192011-06-04T00:30:00.000-07:002011-06-04T00:30:14.076-07:00Magneto and the HolocaustJust saw "X-Men: First Class" with my brother and sister-in-law. Pretty good; I enjoyed! One thing really bothered me, though.<br />
<br />
It's always the small details with fans, right? With all that changed in the remade Star Trek, my wife gets most upset about Kirk having the wrong eye color. In X-Men, they decided to make Magneto Jewish.<br />
<br />
This seems like a small enough change; in the comics, Magneto was (gently) retconed as a Holocaust survivor, informing his separatist vision, making him more sympathetic anti-hero than over-the-top villain, and ratcheting up the irony of his whole "genetically superior race" thing. He was in the camps, though, for being a Gypsy, not Jewish.<br />
<br />
Small change; don't really care, on the surface. Glad to have another overachiever in the ranks, right? Except the movie uses this as an excuse to ratchet up the Holocaust imagery to a degree not seen in any summer blockbuster since "Schindler's List". At the end of the movie (spoiler alert!) Magneto declares that he has suffered enough at the hands of those "just following orders" - a badass line! - then dramatically stage-whispers "Never Again!" before doing something naughty.<br />
<br />
That was the step too far. Sure, it's another movie where the only identifiably ethnic characters are all villains, but mutants have always been Marvel's metaphor for race, so I'll allow some room for that (small room, though; not happy about it). But summing up Magneto's creed by using <i>modern</i> Holocaust imagery doesn't fit, and turns this complex character into a comic book <a href="http://www.jdl.org/">Jewish Defense League </a>("A .22 for every Mu....tant"?). <br />
<br />
It also reinforces the message that the Holocaust is the central issue of modern Judaism, a philosophy that drives me batty. I get it; he's motivated by revenge. Of course, if he was a nice WASP like Batman he'd be a hero, but no; the Holocaust is so important that it turns Jews violent. Just look at Israel, right?<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
I don't think that's what the writers were <i>trying </i>to do. I suspect that, like most modern Holocaust literature, one of the writers is the grandchild of a survivor, and wanted to honor his grandparent's struggle, or reinforce how important it was to them, or something. They probably included the "Never Again" line as an inside reference they thought Jewish viewers would appreciate. "Oh," we're supposed to say, "I totally get his motivation now!"<br />
<br />
We get it. Fine. But that was the line too far. Based on this subtlety I expect the sequel will be about Magneto's attempts to broker a "Two-State Solution" based on the '67 borders.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-72326530126789716812011-05-31T00:23:00.000-07:002011-05-31T00:23:37.137-07:00Short timer's clubThere's a path near my house,<br />
I walk it every day.<br />
Once going out...<br />
...and once coming back.<br />
I realized yesterday there are a finite number of times left<br />
that I will walk those steps.<br />
<br />
I say goodbye to my friends,<br />
just for the night,<br />
not knowing if I will ever see them again.<br />
Did I tell them that I love them?<br />
Do they know?<br />
Did we spend our time together well enough,<br />
if this is the last bit we get?<br />
<br />
Seeing the seconds slip away,<br />
so many of them, but<br />
going so fast.<br />
An eternity to wait, with no time to act.<br />
<br />
Today I walked that path for the very last time.<br />
Unless, someday, I chance to walk those steps once more,<br />
and say to myself,<br />
I never thought to pass this way again.<br />
<br />
It's always the little moments that break my heart.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-35704649528691277822011-05-29T23:05:00.000-07:002011-05-29T23:10:48.611-07:00Is circumcision mutilation?<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388539/San-Francisco-vote-circumcision-ban-fine-parents-1-000-jail.html">So this is interesting</a>. <br />
<blockquote>A San Francisco group looking to outlaw the practice of circumcision in the Bay Area is one step closer to getting its way...<br />
If the measure passes, circumcision would be prohibited among males under the age of 18. The practice would become a misdemeanor offense punishable by a fine of up to $1,000 or up to one year in jail. There would be no religious exemptions.</blockquote>And it seems <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/05/27/2011-05-27_ballot_measure_banning_circumcision_may_be_up_for_vote_in_santa_monica.html">Santa Monica is considering a similar measure</a>. The Santa Monica article contains a number of gems from the head (no pun intended) of the group backing the measure, such as comparing the "mental scaring of circumcision" to what rape victims endure, stating that adult males that get circumcised feel "a sense of loss", and this:<br />
<blockquote>"If you raise your child to be smart and practice safe sex," circumcision is unnecessary..."If you're raising a dumb kid who won't use a condom, then go ahead and cut off two-thirds of his nerve endings and one-half of his penile skin."</blockquote>It's interesting this is starting in San Francisco; a place so liberal they now want to protect us from our constitutional protections. How can a city with "Pro-Choice" practically printed on the official letterhead get away with restricting parents' right to chose?<br />
<br />
<br />
My wife thinks this is a thinly veiled attack on Jews - or at least on non-Christians. I don't see antisemitism at the core of this, but I am sure many bigots will eventually sign on. Unless they decide it would be better to see us suffer diminished sex lives; could go either way, really. I think the debate started as a side-effect of increased public awareness, and opposition to, female genital mutilation. That's horrible, but, unfortunately, usually happens in far away places where our protests do no good. So, deciding that all cutting of children's genitals is equal, people started looking at male circumcision.<br />
<br />
The two practices are NOT comparable. The difference is like trimming your nails, or having them ripped out. Like removing a mole from your arm, or amputating your hand. Granted, there's risks with any medical procedure, but I have never met, or even heard stories from, anyone who had a modern circumcision go awry.<br />
<br />
Historical circumcision was a horrible thing. But all "medicine" was pretty barbaric in the days before antiseptic practices and sterilized instruments. Many rabbis would use their mouths to draw blood away after cutting, which is both disgusting and an excellent way to spread infection (especially if you're living in a time before flossing). I am strongly on-board with the idea that anyone practicing "traditional" circumcision in this manner should serve some jail time.<br />
<br />
But for modern circumcision, performed by trained professionals with sterile implements? I'm less concerned.<br />
<br />
I never really bought the "it reduces sexual enjoyment" argument; generations of Jewish men <i>have</i> complained about their sex lives, but typically that was because they lost sensitivity, but because they were married to Jewish women. On the other hand, I don't buy the "<a href="http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/womens-health/articles/2009/03/25/circumcision-guards-against-stds">it reduces vulnerability to STDs</a>" argument either. The "30% reduction!" is pretty exciting, but less so when you consider that reduced a 10% infection rate to 7%; neither of those are population-shifting numbers. Looking more closely, most of those studies measured the impact of circumcisions performed on <i>grown men</i>. I'm willing to bet the reduced infection rate roughly corresponds with the reduction in their total sex life during the recovery period. Not to mention that any adult male religious enough to get circumcised is probably also religious enough to avoid a lot of sexual contact.<br />
<br />
So where does that leave us?<br />
<br />
Technically, circumcision <i>is</i> genital mutilation. But only in the same sense that ear piercings are auricle mutilation. How does that weigh against being part of a tradition stretching back thousands of generations? I don't think it's fair to say "Let the child decide when he's old enough!" Elective cosmetic surgery on a sensitive body part right as you're entering college? Not likely. And not even a very reasonable request. The penis changes a lot during puberty; I don't know if nerve sensitivity increases during that period, but I was much more aware of it afterwards.<br />
<br />
In the end, I'm still left with doubts. Would I want my own son circumcised? I'm not sure. Would I condemn someone else for circumcising their son? Not likely. Is this law a good idea? Absolutely not. But for reasons larger than antisemitism. It attempts to curtail the debate through legislation, rather than persuasion.<br />
<br />
As a response on <a href="http://www.getreligion.org/2011/05/cutting-edge-synagogue-state-clash/">GetReligion.org</a> puts it: <br />
<blockquote>However, the crucial legal question is whether the medical opinions and evidence can trump the religious liberty of Jewish parents to make this decision to follow the tenets of their faith. Does the state, in effect, have the right to change the doctrinal content of the Jewish faith by moving this rite from the first week of life to the, well, first week of adult life? </blockquote>Where do we draw the line? At what point do we permit a discomforting practice to occur on religious grounds, and when does public health and safety trump even constitutional rights?AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-625451878473643263.post-974260845349368292011-05-11T09:44:00.000-07:002011-05-11T09:44:43.850-07:00Liberal Judiasm's two foundational problems<a href="http://www.threejews.net/2011/05/two-foundational-problems-with-liberal.html">This post</a> by Bruce on Three Jews, Four Opinions is the type of thing I aspire to achieve with my own blog. <br />
<blockquote>This is the scylla and charybdis of liberal Judaism: inauthenticity and irrelevancy.<span id="fullpost"> And these two manifests themselves in much of liberal Judaism. I attend a Conservative synagogue, and I certainly see both of them. Many Jews my age (mid 40s) simply opt out of many traditional Jewish practices. They do not keep kosher, attend synagogue, celebrate many holidays, daven, wear tefillin, etc. The attitude of many of my friends is simply that it seems irrelevant, sort of silly, and a little strange to do these things. After all, God did not literally said to do these things, and there just does not seem to be a good reason to do so. And when they do do these things (for whatever reason), it lacks authenticity. So someone might to go synagogue (say, for a bar-mitzvah), but will not feel elevated by the davening, does not know what the Torah parsha says, and does not expect these things. They feel a little like a religious tourist, watching and even going through the motions without really participating.</span> </blockquote>It gets straight to the core of the issue, presenting it clearly and insightfully. I can't wait to see the rest of the series!.AChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11480189366919227459noreply@blogger.com1